Saturday, 15 March 2014

Calming of the Storm

It has now been 11 days since a bomb dropped on my world.  Ok, ok. That's being over dramatic, but it was a real shocker!

First things first - I need to say a HUGE Thank you to everyone who has left comments, sent messages or texts, phoned, met with me in person and generally just been there for us.  I was overwhelmed in the best way possible by the care and concern and all the offers of help for the months to come. It means so much to me (and JP, but mostly me) to know that we are not alone!

So, I had a lot an obscene amount of questions.  For some reason, I felt I had to have ALL the answers RIGHT NOW.  It was keeping me awake at night. Different questions at different times and looking back, even though it's only been a week, they seem kind of silly.  Why do I need to have a car seat RIGHT THIS MINUTE?!?  I have 5.5 more months to prepare!
*side note* I bought car seats already as Babies 'R Us was having a huge sale so we managed to save $180 by buying them right away!

Another thing I've been stuck on was names! I know I have a long time to think about this and yet, it was one of those pressing things that wouldn't let me sleep. Literally, lying awake coming up with name combinations.  I'm still not settled and haven't figured it out, but that's OK.  Time will tell.  I read a quote once that was something like this, 

You never realize how many people you 
didn't like growing up until you have to name your baby. 

You know what I mean, right? That boy in class that would tease you and call you names. (He probably had a crush on you) Yep, can't name my child ________.  The girl that dropped her overalls in the toilet at recess...oh wait, that was me in 4th grade!

All joking aside, I did have some legitimate questions as well. 
Are there increased risks to carrying twins?
Will I have to have an OBGYN?
Are they fraternal or identical twins? Do they share a placenta?
Do I need to be doing anything different?

These and many more questions. I searched the internet and found some answers, but not nearly what I was looking for. 

On Thursday last week, I went for my first doctor's visit since finding out about the twins.  Tuesday was the ultrasound, Thursday was the doctor.  Joy of joys, there was a 1st year Medical Student there.  I work in a surgeon's office and we do not like it when there are medical students there! It takes the doctor twice as long to do ANYTHING. (No offence to any medical students out there. I know you have to start somewhere, just why me on that day?!?)

So, the medical student comes in. Nice girl. Probably 21, 22 years old. It took her 30 minutes to go over the prenatal record (the one that normally takes my GP about 5 minutes, if that). She didn't know what some of the terms were (which I did and it made me feel slightly good, as haughty as that sounds. You can't work in a specialist's office for 6 years and not learn anything, right?)  I decided against asking her anything and to just wait for my GP to come in.

I should stop here and say that I LOVE my GP. She is the greatest.  I have never felt rushed with her.  I feel we have a great relationship and we're on the same page about a lot of issues.  She tells it like it is and isn't afraid to speak her mind. I really prefer that approach and generally don't need a lot of hand holding in my health. 

So, my GP came in with the student and performed the necessary woman things that have to be done at your first "real" prenatal appointment.  I'm a fairly private person in that regard and so it was a bit out of my comfort zone to expose my nether-regions to a medical student. At least it was a female.  A male would have got the boot out the door.

I didn't have too much time to ask my questions and felt like I had to rush through them and so I missed a few.  What I learned though, is that I will have many, MANY, MANY appointments in the coming months, but it is all for the safety and wellness of our babies so I'm OK with that. 

On Friday, I took the kids to Winners and we bought some onesies for the twins.  (One of my co-workers pretty much melted into a puddle the first time I said "the Twins". Her reaction was pretty cute and warmed my heart.)  I thought that if I bought something for them, I might start to feel more excited.  It didn't work.

Friday night, I talked on the phone with a family friend and! She is another mom of 4 (2 boys followed by twin boys) and she really helped to alleviate a lot of the fears I had in terms of handling four babies. I'm very thankful for you, Julie!

We went to church Sunday and I could tell right away who knew and who didn't. People who knew would give a raised-eyebrow-wide-eyed-gasp-half-smile-look and the first word out of their mouth was, "So.."  People are pretty excited though and that makes me more excited. I'm glad someone is. (That's not really fair of me to say because I can feel the excitement growing. It's just taking its sweet time).   I shared some good hugs and have had some really meaningful conversations. We also were invited to some other twin parents place after church for lunch and that was really helpful as well. I'm sure I will have many more questions for her as she's a mom of twins and a labour and delivery nurse! (Score for me!)

This week has been good.  I've settled a lot into "owning the pregnancy". God has shown me grace and opened my eyes to see how not alone we are. (Bad sentence but it makes sense, right?) Another verse that God used to quiet me this week was:

Enter his gates with thanksgiving;
go into his courts with praise.
Give thanks to him and praise his name.
For the LORD is good. 
His unfailing love continues forever,
and his faithfulness continues to each generation.
Psalm 100: 4-5

His faithfulness continues to each generation.  JP's family has been in Kelowna a long time. They first settled here from Italy in the early 1880's.  Our son, Mason, is the 6th generation of the Kelowna born Casorso Family.  It's a pretty neat heritage to marry into.  I feel so blessed to be able house some more future Casorso's.  God has been so good and I'm ashamed at how I was so ungrateful when I first learned of the two babies occupying my womb.   I now can't imagine my life without them and I think only my loving heavenly Father could bring about that change of heart in such a short time. 

I had better stop. I'm getting the keyboard all wet with my tears. 

Another long post, but it's important for me to write it.  I hope that my kids will read it one day and see how "normal" I am, and how GREAT God is.

And, if there are other women out there who are searching for answers about twins, a great resource I came across online was at Baby Center. It took a lot of digging to find it, but most of my questions were answered in the multiples section. Here's a link for those searching: Twin Pregnancy



  1. Love you Tamara...thanks for blogging and sharing your thoughts.

  2. What a journey :D I found babycentre really helpful too! Had the app for my phone and everything. Haha!